I make no secret that I met my husband on RSVP. Both in our early 40’s looking for love what better place than to shop on line lol. But seriously it is another platform to meet people who are simply looking for love or friendship (there is a name for that but a bit too risqué for even me to type ha-ha – all to their own and it has its place at different times of our lives don’t be judgy as long as both parties are clear!) So what are my tips with internet dating besides doing a reading on each and every profile- we will get to that later!
- As long as they have a photo and it doesn’t look as good as Ricky Martin it is a good start.
- Meets basic criteria
- Do not spend copious amount of time chatting on line before meeting as you will find a lot of time wasters. You will get along with most people on line. Its only when you meet you will see if there is any attraction or charisma.
- Trust your gut instincts always your first impressions are usually right
- Meet in a safe public place
- Look at repetitive patterns in behaviour this will save you a lot of grief later.
- If they do not text you regularly or at odd times, there is a reason for this it is NOT because they are tired, they usually have a reason for the irregularity it is either another woman (or male) or not wanting to get too close or wanting to commit.
- “HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU” became my realisation at times without fancy excuses and go to movie when I needed a positive fix or reminder.
So let me tell you a few of my stories that highlight some of the pitfalls of what I experienced through internet dating but could happen in normal dating too. I didn’t date a lot in my younger years I just married them as young Italian girls do….OMG that’s another blog.
So I met someone who did not have an RSVP photo because “he was a well-known property developer in the Eastern Suburbs”. (I fell for that one only because I had dated a well-known man years before so I let myself off the hook for the stupidity). I drove out to the Eastern Suburbs from the northern beaches – big trek in my books to the nominated coffee shop and I see a person who DID NOT FIT THE DESCRIPTION AT ALL.. I did want to put my foot down on the accelerator and get the F$ck out of there but my polite nature just couldn’t do it. I sat down and had coffee with someone that looked old enough to be my dad and certainly was not who he said he was . I am not very materialistic but he could have turned up in jeans instead of track pants and thongs. He said “I really like you- where to from here? “I said “No where I am going home”! I still remember the words to this day. SO NO PHOTO NO DATE.
Then there was this other guy I dated for a few months who would call or text spasmodically one a week or fortnight- that did my head in. Was I not good enough? Was he playing the field? I didn’t want to ask because we were not an item at all. You see I had self-esteem issues so I didn’t question things. The communication fizzled out so did the dating because “ it was the WRONG timing he said. Yeah right. He rang me two years later like he had just woken up I was already happily engaged to my husband and said could we meet up for coffee he had been thinking about me. He confessed he hadn’t wanted to start anything with me as he was hoping to reconcile with his estranged wife because of young children but she had moved on regardless. SPORADIC CONTACT UNLESS THEY ARE WORKING AT THE NORTH POLE IS AN EXCUSE.
So it is important to see things how they truly are and look at repetitive patterns. If something seems sus it will be.
For the Tarot readers out there you could chuck down a few cards to give you insights.
Card Combo 1
Screaming affair or fling – it’s Sex Sex Sex. All good if he is looking like George Clooney and that is all you want. If you are wanting more, click on the next profile.
Card Combo 2
Gut feeling tells you he is lying to you or playing games, creating confusion. Click on the next profile or quickly move on.
Card Combo 3
New love, feeling giddy like a teenager – soulmate off to a good start.